3 Things I Did To Help My Marriage
If the number one question on your mind lately is, “How can I help my marriage?”, I have some ideas for you. I’ve been married for almost 27 years. My wife and I have had some pretty tough times in those years. There were even times it looked like we might get a divorce. But we managed to stay married, and I want to share some of what I have learned with you so you can too..
You may think that nobody understands what you’re going through. Your situation is different. And yes, no two marriages are the same. But many couples deal with a lot of the same problems. I’ll bet in 27 years my wife and I have struggled with some of the same problems you are facing now. Maybe some of the things I did to help my marriage can help you.
Three Things I Did to Help My Marriage.
I want to share with you three principles I’ve used to help my marriage. I encourage you to put these principles into practice. They are pretty simple, but they have the potential to help restore your marriage. They may seem obvious to you, but I have found that people often overlooked the obvious, searching for some complicated solution. Sometimes simple solutions are best. Here they are…
Take a Good Look at Yourself
In my marriage I learned when things aren’t going well the first place I need to look in the mirror. You may not feel like hearing that now, nobody ever does, but you really should consider it. As tough as it is for me to swallow, if I’m having problems in my marriage, very often it’s my own fault. That’s not to say my wife never screws up, she does. But so do I and being willing to face up to that and admit when I’m wrong has done a lot to help my marriage.
Something else I had to learn to help my marriage is to stop pointing fingers. My marriage seem to be destined for a divorce several years ago. I was frustrated with my wife and she was fed up with me. I realized I was blaming her When things didn’t work out the way I thought they should. I would get mad and irritated at a situation and take my frustration out on her.
It usually started when I created an expectation in my mind of how I thought something should go. I would have everything planned out in my mind and then my wife would remind me of something that caused all my mental plans to go up in smoke. Of course, then I would blame her for messing up my plans. This invariably led to tension and aggravation in our relationship. I had to teach myself to realize that life happens and it doesn’t have to be anybody’s fault.
Communication Is Critical
Another thing I did to help my marriage was start talking to my wife about things before making plans. After thinking about it, I finally recognized that the reason I got so mad and blamed her with something interfered with my plans was because she was the one who had to be the bearer of bad news. In reality, the conflict was already there before I made my plans. She was just the one who had to remind me of it. It took me a while, but I learned to talk to her and work out any potential issues before I decided to do something.
Just Be Honest with Yourself
I know all three of these principles are closely related and not of them are rocket science. They all sort of hinge on personal responsibility and communication. They may seem like common sense, but if you are willing to be honest with yourself, I’ll bet you’ve made some of the same mistakes I have. That’s really what it boils down to, you have to learn to be honest with yourself. That’s the number one thing I did to help my marriage.
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