How to Start Fixing Your Marriage Trouble Today!
Does this sound familiar? You know something isn’t quite right in your marriage. Maybe you’ve stopped talking to your spouse about your day or suddenly feel silly sharing your dream of taking an African safari. Perhaps he is at work more often and only wants to collapse in front of the TV when he gets home. No matter the specifics, you can feel deep inside that something is “off” in your relationship.
Marriage trouble should never be ignored. Even small annoyances can quickly turn into major problems if not addressed. Signs of a troubled marriage can be easy to miss at first. They often begin innocently with busy schedules and missed dates. By the time you realize you have marriage trouble, the issues have grown into much bigger problems.
Some of the signs of a troubled marriage include the following…
- Disagreements regularly turn into full-blown arguments.
- You feel that you can’t do anything right as far as your spouse is concerned.
- Intimacy in the marriage disappears.
- Your spouse no longer shares information with you first.
- You feel as though you no longer hold common interests.
- You and your spouse avoid each other.
How to Save a Marriage
If you are faced with marriage trouble, don’t make the mistake of thinking you are in a hopeless situation. Every marriage will have good times and bad times. However, the key to a lasting union is recognizing what to do during those bad times. Ignoring the problem or withdrawing from your spouse will only make things worse.
Instead, try some of these tips…
Make Your Marriage a Priority: Sit down with your spouse and share your desire to spend more time with them. Go over your calendar and determine how you use your time now. Can you consolidate errands so you are not running out each night? How about agreeing to have a TV or computer-free day that is focused on the family? What about volunteer activities that may take away from time with your spouse? Make sure you go out together – without the kids! – at least once or twice a month to give you an opportunity to focus on one another and reconnect.
Restore Intimacy: Physical contact is so important for a healthy marital relationship. At the very least, make sure you give your spouse a meaningful hug and kiss each day. And I don’t mean one of those barely-brushing-your-cheek pecks on the way out the door either! Sexual intimacy is also important. Even you don’t feel up to it, make an effort to be open to intimate encounters as often as possible. Some couples discover that scheduling these occasions gives them something to look forward to and removes the pressure of having to say no on other nights.
Cultivate New Interests: Marriage trouble can start when we become so preoccupied with ourselves that we forget our spouse’s feelings. Maybe you think gardening is about as fun as watching the grass grow, but it fascinates your spouse. So do the right thing and show an interest. Ask questions and be supportive even if it’s not your thing. You don’t need to listen to an hour-long lecture on the subject, but a quick, “I see the flowers you planted are blooming – what are they called again?” won’t kill you either. Then work with your spouse to find a hobby you can both take up and enjoy together.
If your marriage trouble continues, turn to a professional. Many couples go to marriage counseling regularly even if they don’t have any obvious problems. Just as a car needs regular tune-ups to run smoothly, so too does a marriage. You can also check with area churches which may offer Christian marriage counseling options such as support groups and Bible studies specifically geared toward married couples.
A healthy marriage starts today! And you can get help speeding the process up from Amy Waterman. Amy is the author of “Save My Marriage Today”, one of the best online programs created to help couples save and improve their marriages. This home study course is designed to help you learn how to restore your relationship and overcome marriage trouble.