Why Married Cheating Spouses Do It
Everyone knows that if you are married cheating on your spouse is wrong. It not only destroys the trust that is vital to an intimate relationship like a marriage, it also opens both spouses up to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases that just aren’t a factor in a monogamous relationship.
If infidelity is tearing your marriage apart, you might be at a loss as to why your spouse would do something so devastating. There are a number of reasons why a spouse might have an affair. Some of those may be related to your marriage and others are completely out of your control.
Infidelity is not confined to one gender. Both husbands and wives can be guilty of having an affair. While there can be many reasons people cheat on their spouse, here are some of the main ones:
Married Cheating Men
The top ten reasons why a married man might cheat include…
1. The Opportunity Presents Itself: It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He saw a good-looking woman who was into him, and he couldn’t…or wouldn’t…help himself.
2. Emotional Connection: If you have stopped communicating with your husband, he may start looking for emotional intimacy elsewhere.
3. Low Self-Esteem: Men may talk big but many are very self-conscious. When the opportunity for an affair arises, it provides an ego boost he can’t resist.
4. Sexless Marriage: In marriages that are no longer physically intimate, a man might be inclined to seek out sex with someone else.
5. For Revenge: When one partner has already cheated, the other may feel that they are entitled to a fling of their own. The same is true if a spouse starts nagging or arguing constantly. A husband might feel he “deserves” an affair for putting up with his wife.
6. Thrill of the Chase: Some men just love a challenge. They want to be the center of attention and use sexual conquest to prove to themselves that they are all that and more.
7. Status Quo: If your husband has cheated before with your knowledge, he might see it as ok in your marriage. Or if he grew up in a family where his father was unfaithful, your husband might think it is a normal part of a marriage.
8. Something New: Married cheating men don’t have to be dissatisfied with their sex life at home to have an affair. The mere idea of having sex with someone different in a different location and using different positions can be enough for some men to stray to infidelity.
9. Lack of Appreciation: Husbands who don’t feel appreciated by their wives are the ones most likely to report having an affair.
10. No Longer in Love: Some husbands feel that they no longer love their spouse. Instead of confronting these feelings head on or being honest with their spouse, they have an affair. This can often be a passive aggressive way to turn the tables on a wife and make her force the issue of divorce.
Married Cheating Women
You might be surprised at what is on this list. Some of the reasons a man might have an affair are equally true for a woman as well. The top reasons a wife might stray to infidelity include…
1. Sexless Marriage: Men aren’t the only ones who care about sex. If your love life dries up at home, your wife might be inclined to carry on a tryst with someone else.
2. Low Self-Esteem: If a woman feels unattractive and overweight, the attention of another man is sure to lift her spirits and her ego.
3. Companionship: Married cheating wives often feel lonely, especially if they are maintaining the house all day alone. When their husband doesn’t seem to care about their day or their interests, they may seek out new “friends” who do care.
4. Revenge: Just like the men, women who feel they have been wronged by their spouse often justify an affair by saying they deserve it.
5. The Thrill: Although society is changing, we still generally raise girls to be good, moral and restrained. Many wives who have lived quiet, reserved lives can’t resist the opportunity to be a “bad girl.”
6. The Fantasy is Over: We can place the blame for this one squarely on society’s shoulders. We have created this fantasy of the ideal marriage with the ideal man. The reality is that no one can achieve this type of relationship but still we try. When it doesn’t turn out like the storybooks, wives can start searching for someone else to be their white knight.
7. Emotional Connection: Over time, a marriage can lose its emotional intimacy. Married cheating wives can be drawn to an emotional spark with someone else when they lose that feeling with their spouse.
8. Scared to Leave: An unhappy wife who is scared to pursue a divorce might turn to an affair instead.
9. To Keep Her Options Open: Similar to the above reason, a woman might cheat on her husband to see what else is available. Perhaps she is basically content in her marriage but wonders if someone better is out there. Having an affair is a way to play both sides of the field.
10. Boredom: Whether it is boredom in the bedroom or boredom with the same old routine at home, women might cheat to add excitement and a new element to their lives.
If you have a married cheating spouse, don’t assume that you cannot mend your broken marriage. Infidelity does not have to be the end.
One resource that has helped many couples restore their marriages after infidelity is How To Survive An Affair. Created by the relationship experts at Save My Marriage Today, How To Survive An Affair is a multi-media course designed to teach couples how to recover from the devastating effects of infidelity. When two people have pledged to be forever married, cheating destroys the trust that is crucial to a long term relationship. How To Survive An Affair can help you rebuild that trust and go on to have a stronger marriage than ever.