Overcoming Problems In Marriage
If there is one thing that can mess with your head like like nothing else, it’s when you have problems in marriage. When things aren’t right between you and your spouse it can seem like your whole world is collapsing. It can be very hard to make good decisions in such an emotionally charged environment, so it’s important to learn how to turn down the intensity of the situation.
The worst thing you can do when you’re having problems in marriage is to let your frustration boil over into hostility and aggression. This will usually only make things worse. Words spoken in anger are impossible to take back, no matter how many times you say I’m sorry.
We all have a tendency to say things we may not really mean when we get too mad. We’ve all said things in the heat of an argument that we wished we could take back as soon as they were out of our mouths, but of course by then it’s too late. And words that took just a minute to say (or yell) can cause hurts that last a long, long time.
If you are having problems in marriage and want to get past them, the last thing you need to do is create more issues by allowing yourself to lose your temper. Even if you feel like your spouse wants to argue no matter what you do, it is critical to keep your cool. There is nothing to be gained by adding fuel to a fire, except a bigger fire. Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath.
As hard as it may be, if you want to overcome problems in your marriage you really need to try to stay calm and really be careful what you say. Even if you feel like you are completely justified to be upset and angry, it probably won’t help the situation to yell and scream. Doing so can very likely cause your spouse to become defensive and resistant. This only increases the stress in the relationship and adds more obstacles to overcome.
It is also important to understand that it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. That has become a cliche, but it is still very true. We receive as much, or more, information from someone’s tone of voice and body language as from their actual words. You can convey a lot of hostility in very few words and cause just as much damage as you could by screaming hateful things.
If your goal is to get over problems in marriage instead of creating more, pay attention to your tone of voice and posture. This doesn’t mean to try to be someone you’re not, just to take a deep breath and think about how you are coming across to your spouse. If your attitude makes them defensive you will have a hard time making any progress in healing your marriage. On the other hand, if your spouse sees that you are making a genuine effort at peace they may decide to do the same thing.
Whether your spouse follows suit or not, it really does take two people to have an argument. The reality is that you really can’t control anyone but yourself, so that’s where you should start focusing your effort. If you can learn to keep your temper in check and really try to see things through your spouses eyes, you will have made a big step toward overcoming your problems in marriage.
You Can Get Help Overcoming Your Problems in Marriage
I have to tell you that T Dub is not at all like most traditional marriage or relationship counselors. He’s not a Psychologist or professional counselor. His advice would probably make some of those types cringe, but it gets results.
His course, “The Magic of Making Up”, is now in it’s 3nd year and is hands down the most popular online relationship resource. Maybe “The Magic of Making Up” can help you overcome your problems in marriage.